Caitlyn Wang’s wonderful article, besides managing to alleviate my anxiety about not taking enough AP courses, also brought up another thought in mind. In her article, there was this quote
“Nothing is more fragile than a child who only knows how to chase accolades. Let’s help them learn who they are when the trophies are gone. Because there will come a day when none of us can compete anymore. What remains then must be enough.”
It set off an epiphany in my brain, and I think those insightful words need to be elaborated upon. When you are groomed your whole life to get good grades, to excel in academic subjects, to keep on winning and trying harder and harder things, what happens when the competition can no longer keep up, when you have won all you can, and there’s nothing left to academically succeed on? The movie Gifted, I think, answers the question. True, it’s not about Asian teens and tweens, but it illustrates a similar event of what might happen when your identity is tied too closely to a single defining event or a 4.0 GPA. Just a word of caution, there will be spoilers.
Gifted revolves around an uncle and a niece, Frank and Mary. Frank’s sister, Diane, was a child prodigy. Her whole life, her mother groomed her to solve the Navier-Stokes problem (basically a nearly impossible math riddle), creating a special curriculum around mathematics just for that and even isolated Diane from other people her age so she wouldn’t be distracted from doing mathematics. In the end however, Diane could not solve it and committed suicide when Mary 6 months old, leaving Frank to take care of his niece. He resolves to make sure Mary has the childhood his sister never had, one with more friends and a life where she can choose what she wants to do. But Mary is not the typical child. She is also a prodigy, with a special talent for math, just like her mother. Word eventually spreads, and Frank’s mother, Evelyn, hears. Evelyn immediately locks onto Mary. “My own daughter may have been mentally weak and couldn’t solve the Navier-Stokes problem but what about my granddaughter? She might be one! The one who can solve the problem my daughter couldn’t!” She believes that Mary would be better off with a similar upbringing to Diane, and sues for custody. Due to having better resources than Frank, Evelyn essentially wins the case. She wastes no time to try and prime Mary for doing what Diane couldn’t. Frank, out of options, resorts to one last move. He reveals to his mother the truth: Diane actually solved the Navier-Stokes problem, but left specific instructions for Frank to not publish it until after Evelyn died. Frank offers a deal: in exchange for transferring custody of Mary to him, he will let Diane’s work be published. Evelyn, being hellbent on one of her descendants completing and publishing the Navier-Stokes solution, agrees to Frank’s terms. Yet one question still nags at her: Why did Diane only want to publish her work after her death? She gave her daughter the proper environment to grow as a mathematician, saving no expenses.
However, as Evelyn looks over Diane’s work, she notices something towards the end: tear marks. Diane was crying as she finished the problem. The realization then dawns on her. Diane didn’t commit suicide because she couldn’t solve the the problem, she committed suicide because she solved the problem, and had nothing else to live for beside that. Her whole life, she was primed, taught, had it infused in her that she would be the one to solve the Navier-Stokes problem, that it was her only purpose and one goal in life. Diane’s talent was real and she was a brilliant mathematician, but Evelyn forced her to be so focused on math to the point where it was her sole activity and source of recreation. Even when she tried to reach out, to do something other than equations, her mother would shut her down, driving away any potential friends. By the time she had more independence, the damage was already done. Like a one trick pony, math was the single thing she could understand or do. She couldn’t socialize, couldn’t tell the difference between good and bad friends, and couldn’t really take care of herself or others.
So she did what she always did in the end: try to solve the Naiver-Stokes problem. But when she finally completed it, she also completed her purpose. That left the existential question: What else is there left for me to do? It was her one purpose, and her only function. Now that she had achieved her life’s work, was there really anything left for her to do? True, Diane had her daughter, but she couldn’t take care of Mary. She didn’t know how to, and could barely take care of herself. Math was all she could do, nothing else. And now that she solved the math, she felt that there was nothing left for her. That was the reason why she committed suicide.
Even though most Asian teens aren’t prodigies like Diane, they face a similar problem as she did. From all sides, they are pressured to succeed in academics. They keep on studying harder and harder, taking more and more AP courses, doing higher and higher level sports. But eventually, the certificates and trophies they win crowd out other important life skills, like self reflection and knowing you are enough. Academics becomes something they excel in, but it’s the only thing they excel in. Things like mental health, sleep, and self care wither. Other ties to their sense of worth become distant. Then one day when the trophies are gone, instability follows.
This film, and Caitlyn’s article sends a message. Teens, don’t let anybody, including yourself, degrade your worth to just your GPA or ability to succeed in class. People are so much more than that. Parents, please show some more support. Please show that you still love us even past our achievements.
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